I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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