i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
