So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
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u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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