Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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