oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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