Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
