her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
