forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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