I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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