return my video game
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
