So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
