i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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