thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize