id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize