I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
