The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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