I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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