your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize