that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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