New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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