It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
