how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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