Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
