I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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