I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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