I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
