no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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