remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
