before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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