i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
