I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
