id be glad to
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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