and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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