I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
