I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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