Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
