im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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