How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
