then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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