When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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