We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
