Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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