at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
