Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
