The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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