I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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