At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
