I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
