i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
