I think i peed on brittanys purse
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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