I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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