You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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