I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
