So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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