ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize