It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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