If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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