Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize