i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
