No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
