Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize