2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
