We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
