Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
