I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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