good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
