well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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